Niki Part 2

I bailed from work at 11 and headed over to Chipotle’s to grab some chicken for her and lunch for me. At home, she again was a little slow getting up off the couch but she did get up. I helped her to the floor and gave her some new food as she hadn’t touched breakfast, not more than a few bites anyway. I tried scrambling up an egg but she had no interest and I offered chicken but again, no interest.

A gaming friend of mine had offered to come up and spend some time with Niki and me. When she arrived, I was in the back yard with Niki on her leash.

She was soaking up the sun and had nibbled on some grass as well. She came over a couple of times for me to pet her and then went back over to sit in the sun some more. She spent time cleaning her face, paying special attention to the left side. I think it was sore because she’d wash it pretty hard (it probably felt a little numb based on what the vet said).

After a bit of chatting with Wendy, we headed down to the lake. I’ve carried Niki around the lake before. We’ll go a little ways and then I put her down and she checks things out for a minute or so before I pick her up and we head off again. We headed around and walked down the dam. I kept her from getting too far away, down to the water or generally heading back home. I was checking the clock as I didn’t want to make the vet wait and we turned back not more than half way down the dam. I’d let her flop onto the grass so she could warm herself. It was a bit windy so she wanted to head away from the wind.

As we returned, we walked past the elementary school. She’d actually been walking a bit more than she normally does, probably just happy to be outside. She kept checking the school windows and doors to see if she could head inside to get away from the wind πŸ™‚

I’d picked her up a few times. Like most cats, she’s not happy on her back but this time I was able to cradle her and she pushed her head back into my shoulder, kind of an upside down head bonk πŸ™‚

On the way back to the house, I put her down in the soccer field. I was expecting a flop or grass much but nope, she just wanted to head home. She headed across the asphalt and into the gravel.

Once home, we went into the back yard again and I basically let her soak up the warmth.

After a bit, I even brought out her cat food and water dish. She snarfed it

And didn’t budge even when one of the neighborhood cats came by to try and mooch.

Not long after that, it was time. I’d left a note on the door for the vet that we were in the back yard and met her when she came around the corner. She had her equipment and a red towel. I held Niki as she went over the details and paperwork including disposal.

Then it was time. I decided I wanted to hold her if I could and since it was getting later, I held her by the back fence. The sun was shining and still a foot or so from the border but I wanted to hold her. The vet injected her with a sedative and said it would take a minute and she would likely kick and try to get away in part because it’s making the pain go away so she feels young again. The sedative took about a minute and yes, she did hiss and growl and even try to get away a couple of times. But she eventually fell asleep. The vet asked if I wanted to keep holding her but I just couldn’t. So she laid out her towel and comfortably put Niki down on it. I kneeled next to her and pet her quite a bit. I’m so filled with sadness and emotion that I can’t speak and give the vet a nod to go ahead. She didn’t react at all and I had to wait for the vet to pronounce her as gone.

πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™

We spent a few minutes with Niki laying in the sun and the vet fussing around her. She was gathering up her gear and said she’d be back to get Niki, but then said, “unless you want to carry her”. It didn’t take but a second but I said yes and carefully picked her up in the towel cradling her and slowly walking out to the vet’s SUV. She had a blanket in the back and as I lay her on the blanket, I said “I know it’s just a shell but I miss you already”. πŸ™

I walked away and the vet left.

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5 Responses to Niki Part 2

  1. Erich says:

    Very sorry for your loss. Tender account. My sympathies. From our mother, we are bonded, inextricably, to our feline companions.

  2. Jeff Sherard says:

    So sad. Thanks for being vulnerable and writing about your feelings and emotions. Makes me care about you all the more. Hang in there.

  3. Freejack says:

    Thanks. It’s been a surprisingly hard weekend and even today was difficult due in part to Niki sleeping leaning on me and just generally her attitude towards things.

  4. Lori Hiatt says:

    Carl, thanks for allowing us the opportunity to be even a small part of Niki crossing the Rainbow Bridge and for sharing your site with us. I loved reading about you and her and your relationship with her. I know you miss her terribly and for that I am so sorry. Time will heal the hurt but you will always have the memories. God Bless you and may you feel Niki’s spirit with you always.

    Lori Hiatt
    Rainbow Bridge Pet Cremtorium

  5. Andrea says:

    Oh, Carl, I’m so sorry! It was a year ago that I had to put my cat down unexpectedly. I’m sitting here crying for both of us right now. We don’t often realize how much a part of everyday life our pets are until they are no longer there. I love that you were able to give her an awesome last day!

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